Veggie Jokes

What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat? Someone who lost their veg-inity!

Why does the vegan never get any play? bc she/he has really bad gas.

How many vegetarians does it take 2  screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know, but where do u get ur protein?

How many vegans does it take 2change a lightbulb? 2, 1 to change it & 1 to check 4 animal ingredients. 

Why did the chicken cross the road? bc Colonel Sanders was chasing him.

Why did the vegetarian cross the road? bc she was protesting for the chicken, MAN!

Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken

What did 1 vegetarian spy say 2 the other vegetarian spy? We have 2 stop meating like this.

Vegan Pick Up Lines
May I take your picture? It’s for the World’s Sexiest Vegetarian competition. 
Could you help me out? I’m trying to decide if I want to keep these new hemp sheets, but I need a second opinion.
Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?
Wanna come up and see my Vitamix?
What’s your favorite thing to do with agave nectar?
Do you like my new skirt? I love pleather but it makes me all hot and sweaty. 
Mmmmm. I could really go for a hot veggie dog right about now.
I’ll eat Hip Whip on anything. 
How do you get your protein?

by Seven Johnson

7LoveJohnson; Executive Creative Director / Organic & Natural Living, Balance Is True Beauty. Sharing Wealth Through Health and Wellness~ xo seven